She's got it

As the old school Bananarama band would say. Charlotte's got Covid. All the stress I've been having to get her into school, all the sleep deprivation anxiety is causing, the morning panic attacks, procrastinating getting ready to the last minute until she knows she’s late and doesn’t “think” it’s worth even going…

No talk is worth listening, no time is as good as bedtime to have a good ol’ rant followed by an argument. Any excuse to make her feel anxious - enough to keep her awake for long hours, maybe even have a late supper -, so that she’s really tired in the morning enough to make me feel sorry for her, enough to allow her to skip it the next day.

Took her to the doctor’s because she wasn’t eating enough, getting sick after the first two forks. Lost a lot of weight. But there’s nothing wrong with her. Spoke to the school to get some sort of support in place. Until I decided to put it in writing in a serious enough email I convinced them it was probably a good idea to listen.

My shout out for help was really not because I believe there is anything wrong with her. My shout out for help was because as a parent, I have no longer enough authority to educate my child. Education and child protection legislation has completely castrated me of my parental responsibility. I’m all for positive parenting but that on its own is not enough. I don’t know about you but in the UK a child is taught their rights from a very young age. They know we can’t physically touch them, we can’t tell them off in a louder tone because that is seen as abuse.

Some additional tutoring to help catch up, a safe place away enough from the other children so she could have a break from all the peer pressure, a lunch pass for her to get away for half an hour. I have already told her, once these things are in place, she won’t have any more excuses to skip school. But I know that even then, if she decides not to go, my hands will be tied. How can I force her to go to school?

Tried booking an appointment with a therapist. The GP allocated her one, after reaching the conclusion that the problems she was having were not of physiological origin. She says she likes her, that it is good to have someone to talk to, an outsider that can hear her without judgement. I get that. Yet, she’s her biggest judge. I recognise I struggle to just sit listening in silence. She’s my daughter. I just want her to be happy.

Not mine, but the Universe sent it my way this week...

How many times can you nicely ask a child to do/not to do something before you lose it? When is disciplining a child too much? What generations are the current legislations bringing out into our society? All I see is a bunch of entitled, spoiled brats, with an array of stress and anxiety disorders, depressed and withdrawn from real life. How long are we going to continue watching and silently following?

At least for a week she's got a legitimate excuse to not go to school. And I can’t tell her off. It’s a good enough excuse.