A teenager wannabe

Thought it would be good to mention my in-betweener Cedric, for a change. He's hitting that stage where he's identifying all behaviour and body reactions as a sign that he's reaching teenagehood. He's only 10 (and a half, as he says) but he's eager.

Moving has been a little daunting for him, I reckon. Where he was used to a 5 minutes walk to school, he now is having an extra 15 minutes added to his journey. I think he was feeling the responsibility, where he's having to be more aware of his surroundings and safety.

For me that has also brought a little bit more worry to my days. It's not easy to draw the trust line yet. And because of that, sometimes I struggle to judge what things I should mention and tell what things I don't have to.

He's an intelligent kid, and like all kids his age, he absorbs everything very quickly, even things we discuss among us adults, when we don't realise he's listening. He is much street-smarter than his sister, but he looks up to her. I don't think she realises (or cares) to be honest. She doesn't believe us when we tell her either.

But their interests in life diverge. While Charlotte enjoys reading and debating, Cedric is more into technicalities, like mathematical formulas and science. They both enjoy video games though and surprisingly, they sometimes play together.

My separation from their father has been hard on us. And I recognise I have not been able to provide the best support every time. I am learning as I go, trying to draw the line between my marital grudges and my mother's role. Having to deal with two completely different ages' and personalities' children has not always been an easy task, as much equally as I want to treat them.

He’s not a bigger concern in terms of causing harm to himself or others than any other little boy his age. We all know boys are more curious about the technicalities of things, this skill is embbeded in their genes. This skill alongside the craving for danger and mischief. One of these Friday afternoons, we had one of Cedric’s friends over. They walked back together fro school. But at that time I wasn’t back from work yet, I arrived shortly after. I prepared them some Mac n’ Cheese, served it and had to pop out just to drop Charlotte, who was going to a friend’s house for dinner too. And 10 minutes later, when I walked back in… I don’t know what goes on in those little minds of theirs…

Cedric is generally a good boy but he has his days, just like any other boy, where he purposely disobeys, either to get our attention or just because he's a boy and chooses to make mistakes to find out what the outcome will be. But then we have a good chat and he falls back into line.

But we have to be very clear - very literal - when explaining what we expect from him. It's very easy for him to misunderstand, as he learns and picks up words and topics from YouTube or TikTok videos, as often topics come up as a result of an opinion, which may be difficult for him to tell that that might not be factual information.

Cedric is a very loving little boy, and he thrives with attention, always showing off his skills, whether working out calculations, his gaming or programming skills, or the latest, piano skills. He still needs a lot of guidance. Life is busy, and sometimes we may not feel like going through the educating part of their education, actually talking them through why a + b = c and how we may have to live with the consequences of our decisions, no matter how fun the options we take are, but it needs to be done.

Since Gary came into our lives, he has gone from hating him to competing with him and more recently to looking up to him. It must be a huge challenge, given Gary's high education standards. Gary had an outstanding ability to fit into his role of dad, considering he had never been one. He has done an amazing job, through thick and thin, supporting us, always in a very patient and loving way. And I think they recognise that.