A carrot and a stick

Charlotte is, after months, on her second week of full attendance. In normal circumstances I would find this a reason to celebrate because I’ve experienced a huge disappointment just following a celebration, I know better now than to throw fireworks before the actual party starts. Last Sunday I told her how proud I was that she managed to keep up with her school attendance for an entire week. Deep inside I think attending school is not just an achievement, it’s a duty. It’s the children’s minimum obligation.

We all have ours. It’s embedded into our society, and we are born into them. We have the obligation to go to shool, then the obligation to pay our bills, so that we achieve our goals. And while we follow that unwritten social rule, we develop our personality, build our survival skills and our character. Work hard, play hard, right? Whilst I grew up with the notion that nothing worth having comes easy, and probable as a result of that many of my generation chose to make life easier for them when it comes to raising their children, Generation Z - and as far as I can see, also the ones that followed - were born to a far less demanding life.

These new generations are being raised to expect everything good, easy and quick. This the entitlement notion they are growing with is the fall of human values as we know them. Respect and solidarity have slightly different meanings nowadays. Most important things seem to revolve around gender and racial minorities today. I call them “the offended generation”. Charlotte hates it. For generations that have never lived or been in direct contact with anyone who lived through or witnessed it, they surely appear to be very sensitive to these topics.

I decided to reward her so that she keeps going. I thought if she’s got something to look forward, she will be more likely to continue. She’s been wanting to get her nails done for sometime. She’s a biter, so she thinks this will help her quit. The bottom line for her to know is that I can’t afford to this every week nor do I want to, as rewards are earned for special achievements, not for a duty.

The carrot...

When I try and give Charlotte a taste of what she should be doing, as a helping tip, she refuses to listen. I’ve been there too, I know how, once we turn into teenagers, is hard to listen to my parents. “What do they know? They’ve lived a different time, they can’t possibly know what I’m going through…” To a certain extent they’re right. They are currently going through a time that is totally different to the one I lived. They have an overwhelming range of coices in given area of their lives. It’s the weight of choices, the weight of free will.

But if we don’t provide them with some guidance they will get lost. Even though I run the risk of repeating myself insisting for them to stick to rules and schedules - “I know, mum” - but I know it’s starting to grow in them. I know later they will thank me for being annoying, when they realise life is pretty much how I said it was going to be. Because despite generations being different, the core of living remains the same.